What It Means to Achieve an Average Life in Korean Society


Thirty years ago, as a freshman in college, I was eager to find an interesting elective course. After much deliberation, I chose 'Understanding Korean Society'. The course was taught by a newly minted Ph.D., and throughout the semester, the focus was on exploring the "average life" of a South Korean man.

 

In hindsight, the life described in that class wasn’t truly average. It represented the top 30% of society. The benchmark for "average" was based on men who graduated from college and received financial support from their parents for a down payment on a rental home when they got married.

 

The "average man" wasn’t wealthy, but he wasn’t lacking either. Born into a modest family, he attended school and cram classes before making it into college. After completing his military service, he buckled down, improved his grades, and graduated successfully, landing a job soon after. A few years later, he got married after a period of dating. When his first child was born, he purchased his first home with a hefty loan. As he climbed the corporate ladder, his salary increased.

 

However, rising salaries came with rising living expenses. Education costs for his children and hefty mortgage payments left little room for financial freedom in middle age. Time passed.

 

After putting his kids through college, he finally caught his breath. But by then, he developed one or two chronic illnesses and had undergone a few surgeries. Following his parents’ example, he helped fund his children’s marriages by selling his larger home and downsizing to a smaller one.

 

Then came retirement. All that remained was a small apartment, an old car, and the children. and  About 15 years later, after battling various health issues, he passed away in a hospital.

 

As I listened to the lectures, I kept thinking, That won’t be me. I won’t live such a mediocre life.

 

After narrating the life of the top 30% "average man," the professor posed a series of "what if" questions:

 

What if you were born with a disability?

What if your parents were extremely poor?

What if you graduated from a lesser-known university, or a community college, or didn’t go to college at all?

What if you couldn’t find a job right away?

What if you couldn’t get into a large corporation?

What if your salary was much lower?

What if your parents couldn’t contribute a penny to your wedding expenses?

What if you started a small business and it failed?

Each question emphasized how much effort and struggle it takes just to achieve the so-called "average life."

 

For someone born into a poor family, the weight of achieving "average" was even heavier. Pursuing and succeeding in one’s dreams wasn’t just a matter of mental strength—it required money. The burden of supporting a family made it even harder to pursue personal aspirations.

 

Without the "right" college degree, the barriers to entering competitive fields were higher, requiring more patience and sacrifices. Failing to secure a job at a large corporation often meant starting at a small company with a lower salary. Over the course of a lifetime, the cumulative income gap was significant.

 

An average life didn’t come easily.

 

In the final lecture, the professor spoke about the strength it takes to live differently from others.

 

He emphasized the need to embrace the life of an outlier. Only by doing so, he said, could one surpass the average.


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