Thirty years ago, as a freshman in college, I was eager to find an interesting elective course. After much deliberation, I chose 'Understanding Korean Society'. The course was taught by a newly minted Ph.D., and throughout the semester, the focus was on exploring the "average life" of a South Korean man.
In hindsight, the life described in that
class wasn’t truly average. It represented the top 30% of society. The
benchmark for "average" was based on men who graduated from college
and received financial support from their parents for a down payment on a
rental home when they got married.
The "average man" wasn’t wealthy,
but he wasn’t lacking either. Born into a modest family, he attended school and
cram classes before making it into college. After completing his military
service, he buckled down, improved his grades, and graduated successfully,
landing a job soon after. A few years later, he got married after a period of
dating. When his first child was born, he purchased his first home with a hefty
loan. As he climbed the corporate ladder, his salary increased.
However, rising salaries came with rising
living expenses. Education costs for his children and hefty mortgage payments
left little room for financial freedom in middle age. Time passed.
After putting his kids through college, he
finally caught his breath. But by then, he developed one or two chronic
illnesses and had undergone a few surgeries. Following his parents’ example, he
helped fund his children’s marriages by selling his larger home and downsizing
to a smaller one.
Then came retirement. All that remained was
a small apartment, an old car, and the children. and About 15 years later, after battling various
health issues, he passed away in a hospital.
As I listened to the lectures, I kept
thinking, That won’t be me. I won’t live such a mediocre life.
After narrating the life of the top 30%
"average man," the professor posed a series of "what if"
questions:
What if you were born with a disability?
What if your parents were extremely poor?
What if you graduated from a lesser-known
university, or a community college, or didn’t go to college at all?
What if you couldn’t find a job right away?
What if you couldn’t get into a large
corporation?
What if your salary was much lower?
What if your parents couldn’t contribute a
penny to your wedding expenses?
What if you started a small business and it
failed?
Each question emphasized how much effort
and struggle it takes just to achieve the so-called "average life."
For someone born into a poor family, the
weight of achieving "average" was even heavier. Pursuing and
succeeding in one’s dreams wasn’t just a matter of mental strength—it required
money. The burden of supporting a family made it even harder to pursue personal
aspirations.
Without the "right" college
degree, the barriers to entering competitive fields were higher, requiring more
patience and sacrifices. Failing to secure a job at a large corporation often
meant starting at a small company with a lower salary. Over the course of a
lifetime, the cumulative income gap was significant.
An average life didn’t come easily.
In the final lecture, the professor spoke
about the strength it takes to live differently from others.
He emphasized the need to embrace the life
of an outlier. Only by doing so, he said, could one surpass the average.
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